Sex Ed: Sex Drive and the drivers
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Posted on May 19, 2025
Sex drive and the drivers. What might be influencing your desire
Sexual desire, or “libido” is defined as a person’s interest in initiating or desire for sexual intimacy. Over the course of our lives, many factors influence our desire in one direction or the other. For some, this desire remains consistent (ok superstar). We wanted to go through some of the not so obvious drivers for intimacy to help you understand why your libido might be so elusive.
Stress
Being in a state of fight or flight isn't typically a state of being primed for feeling ready for sex or intimacy. In short term of chronic stress states, our primary hormone cortisol is favoured for production by the adrenal glands over our sex hormones. This is because your body is in a protective state. Cortisol also dampens dopamine, one of the primary drivers of desire and causes vasoconstriction (lack of blood flow) to the erogenous zones directly hindering arousal and erection.
For women especially, one of the primary erogenous zones happens to be the mind. So when you’re feeling stressed or preoccupied, getting into the mood might take a little longer. Contrary to this, some people might find an uptick in their libido during acute stressful periods due to the release of oxytocin from intimacy, sex and orgasm and the uptick in adrenaline.
Hormones
Our body’s are dynamic, experiencing peaks and troughs of hormones throughout our life times. As we progress through perimenopause, a decrease in women’s sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone and testosterone).
As estrogen declines, so does natural lubrication and skin elasticity on the vulva and vagina. This might mean sex and intimacy, regardless of penetration, might feel uncomfortable. One of the front line helpers here is an aloe based lubricant.
Progesterone interacts with GABA to promote a more relaxed mood. As progesterone declines, so might GABA, leading to poor sleep, increased anxiety and restlessness.
And yes women have testosterone also, but as this declines so might sexual interest, reduced sexual thought and motivation.
For men, there is a gradual decrease, around 1-2% of testosterone after the age of 30. The effects of this are linked to a decrease in sexual desire and changes to erectile function, a decrease in dopamine and thus mood and cognitive decline, lower energy and motivation. Furthermore an increase in non communicable diseases like diabetes and lifestyle habits like long term cigarette smoking are also linked to a decrease in testosterone and erectile dysfunction.
Seasons
And here's a not so obvious influence but makes perfect sense when you think about it - The seasons. As it gets darker we are exposed to less sunlight and therefore vitamin D. As we know, Vitamin D is directly linked to mood, immune function and motivation and…your libido. Studies have shown improved vitamin D levels, through supplementation, is linked to improved mood and sexual functioning in women. Furthermore men with Vitamin D insufficiency lower scores in erectile function, orgasm potential and sexual desire.
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that increases during the cooler months like autumn and winter. Generally, the symptoms of this depression resolve in spring and summer. But as our mood decreases so can our libido. Symptoms include poor mood, poor motivation, listlessness and tiredness among others. If this is something you experience or know you can experience talk to your trusted practitioner.
Always consult with your healthcare provider for diagnosis and supplement guidance and prescription.
A couple of ways to get back into your body and boost your drive can be through play and touch. Whether solo or partnered, our favourite products are sure to get things going.
Maude - Burn Massage Candle
The oil gets warm, not hot, and once the flame is extinguished can be poured directly onto the skin.
Dame - Pom personal massagers
https://thelaborganics.com.au/collections/intimacy-devices/products/pom-flexible-vibrator
Designed to sit in the palm of your’s or your partner’s hands means close contact, bends and moves with ultimate control of intensity.
Band - Vibrating ring
https://thelaborganics.com.au/collections/intimacy-devices/products/drop?variant=42894108590286
Designed for shared pleasure.
Dame - Desire gummies
https://thelaborganics.com.au/products/desire-gummies?variant=42637709148366
For stress and libido support. L-theanine supports a calm stable mood helping you move away from stress and into heightened desire. For women and men.
Bath - treat it like a sensual self care act. Water immersion creates ideal setting for relaxation. Bath oils and soaks can help release tense muscles and help your skin feel pleasurable to touch.
Bath Alliance - Rose bath oil
https://thelaborganics.com.au/products/rose-shower-oil?variant=42816391381198
Nature of things - restorative floral bath
https://thelaborganics.com.au/products/restorative-floral-bath-180ml?variant=41911549952206
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